A friend of mine got laid off this week. He held a comparable position to the one I did when the recession monster ate my job. So it seems that the only field I'm qualified to do anything in is still reducing its workforce.
The only things that job ever gave me was a sense of hopelessness and a steady paycheck. I was nervous most of the time and drunk for most of it too. My new lease on life was starting a small publishing company and producing an indy lit mag called Exact Change Only. We are in the start of our second year and on our third issue. I'm broke, the company is almost broke. I have no toner and a lot of frustration. It makes me wonder if I made the right choice. Is it really better to choose love over gold? I dunno. I'm the guy who started a little company during a recession. So as the great prophet Zaphod says "10 out of 10 for style but minus several million for good thinking."
Maybe it's because I'm getting older and I was supposed to have everything figured out by now, or at least a novelty plaque that says "He's got everything figured out" I don't, and sometimes that frustration, that lack of security, hangs on me like I'm Atlas.
I'm probably just having a krytonite day. I've chosen to do the thing that makes me happy. To not follow the mantra of the 1980's. Greed is not always good. I have to remember that the reward of patience is patience