Saturday, November 7, 2015

Yes, I understand the blogging of this thing is Ironic

Megalomania Made Easy

Destroying the world sounds difficult, but following a few simple steps, you too can become the agent that destroys the world or at the very least- civilization as we know it.

Step 1

Be openly miserable. It is very simple to find fault with basically everything. Start small. Complain about growing older, being under employed, or how much you hate cats. Make sure that these opinions sound sincere, Ironic Misery does nothing to destroy the world. it is only a method for impressing hipsters and people who know you well will easily see through the ruse.

Step 2

Since you spend most of your time stalking people via social media anyway, use the internet to your advantage. Post your new found miserable rantings on line and see how many “likes” you receive. Comments are better than “likes” but don’t be discouraged. Rome was not destroyed in a day. Slowly you will become recognized as a minor celebrity and your general following will grow.

Step 3

Time to kick it up a notch. Start a blog that takes specific things that bother you and use them to make sweeping generalizations. These things can be completely fictional. Talk about the disgusting habits of small groups of people who you are unfamiliar with. Starter topics could be “The public urination habits of suburban teen males” or the general promiscuity of females from (insert minority or religious group here). Be creative and remember we are looking to decay planetary moral and ethical fiber.

Step 4

now that you have cemented yourself in the webisphere as an opinionated person of self-import, the next step is to dominate via video. Most of the really important planetary destroyers are omnipresent in the media. Start filming yourself ranting about the issues you have created. Make the rants short and to the point. Claim to be in a hidden location and then sit back and watch your opinionated self enter into a brand new viral dimension. Soon enough you will become fodder for late night comedians and talk show hosts. This takes attention away from more important news stories of greed, corruption, injustice, and acts of true discrimination.


remember it is important to escalate from simple rant topics to things people care about, but aren’t really important. Simple tricks are as follows

  1. idolize a pop star who is not particularly talented and express outrage when they are overlooked.
  2. choose a feature or personal habit of a person of political or social import and deride it in lieu of discussing anything resembling the actual issues.
  3. defend an unpopular social opinion by calling it “the will of God”

other more complicated strategies are detailed in Chapter 6: styles and strategies for ethical decay and moral outrage.

Remember you too can make a contribution to the downfall of society and the destruction of the world as we know it. Achieve your destiny today

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